I'm not really Jewish, though I often claim that Sammy Davis and his wife were my parents when I go to Seder every year. Basically, I just wish I were a Jew. Ironically, I grew up knowing only one Jew, and she was a Jew for Jesus (which many Jews claim really puts her out of the Jewish category, but I digress). When I went to Harvard (a bastion of Jewish intellectualism) I was in for quite a shock with my fundamentalist Christian little self. My real name is Matthew and I used to always tell people they could remember my name because it's the first book in the new testament. I can't tell you how many blank looks I would get before I changed that little mnemonic clue.

So, enough with the introductions. Basically, I think that bacon is not really pork. It's not even meat. it's an unquantifiable substance that exists outside of all other known categories of food products. That, to me, is why Jews love it so much, but don't go to hell for eating it. It's been touted as pork which gives it that little bit of naughty frisson when you eat it. But, because it isn't really meat, you can't be punished for eating it.

Anyway, I LOVE bacon. I have gone to Seder for the past 15 or 16 years. I had an overbearing, verbose and well-meaning mother. I figure I must be Jewish. Whatever the truth of that last statement, I'm glad to be among fellow bacon eaters.