New Theory on Bacon

topic posted Tue, April 13, 2004 - 10:02 AM by  Starchy
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posted by:
Starchy
SF Bay Area
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  • Re: New Theory on Bacon

    Tue, April 13, 2004 - 10:11 PM
    This one came from "The Onion"....I just had to post it here.

    VOLUME 39 ISSUE 06 — 19 FEBRUARY 2003
    Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever
    ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana." In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex with models cures cancer.

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